Join Date: Feb 2007
Dang Blasted any who BOB!
We bearly had 'er out for see trials' and you done gone and told to hole world!
'An we was just fixin' to send them thar blooprints off to the patent orfice.
Dang nabbit anywho!
Thar's already 2 more jus like my invention, cruising round hear.
Who know's how many else are out there, down streem?
WELL! Now that the werd is out I might as well answer your questions, so them thar KopyKats don't build 'em wrong and Kill themselves! Else that wood bother me to know end!
What size outboard is recommended?
Size isn't important; BANG for the Buck is. I got some hot tips for U! Butt urine gonna have to by all the beer Friday night. Deal? OK. Freddy is behind on his alimony, and he done lost his license anyway, so he might sell you his pick 'em truck engine reel cheap so he aint got to go to jail. It's a 455 with dual carbs, and a cam!
Is the water tank (as shown in pic) large enough?
Dang sure! That ain't no ordinary tankl That's our swimming pool! We also use it for drinking water, so I have strict rules! Anybody that goes in it must first jump in the river and rinse them selves off, so as not to contaminate it. Also Let 'er set in the sun a few days and it's a hot tub! I must admit there is one small problem with it though, the water gits kinda green. I am not sure why, but I think it's those UFO Martians Guys. I had Billy Bob sit guard last week, wit the 12 gauge in a lawn chair write thar in front of the hot tub. DANG it if he didn't fall asleep, fell over backwards and into the river! We lost the shotgun AND the lawn chair. That wan't so bad thou, as wen we pulled him out, he had 2 catfish in his bib overalls, and a mess of crawdads in his pockets. We thought he went plum local the way he was thrashing about, so I hit him in the head with a baseball bat. He was oout COLD! And he still was flopp'n around! That's wen we found the cat fish. I clobbered them to. Well anyways Billy Bob woke up with a headache. He didn't now what hit him, and told him he has to stop drink'n beer on the job - else I am going to make him pay to live-a-bord! He were'n real sorry an I said that I would let him go this time but only if he gutted them thar cat's an boiled them crawdads. He did. Man they aint got nuttin like this in New York City! That was one fine fish fry! I tell you!
What size fenders should be used?
Now that there is the dumbest question I ever herd!
The camper came with it's own fenders, just the right size to cover the tires.
What helm seat is recommended?
Helm, Smelm, I don't give a hoot! Just pull up a pail and sit your skinny butt down. You can sit anywhere you want. ....well except in the lawn chair; Billy Bob lost that dern thing with the double barrel 12 gauge. NOW why did you bring that up and git me all Ri-eye-l'd up again? I done near forgot about that. Hey! - At least there is good news. Billy Bob forgot two load the shotgun! We still have the shells, .....well I am not so sure one of them works, I spilt my beer and one got wet. Butt we was thinking, if we took a jack knife and pryed the front open and took out the wet gun powder and poured some gear lube in it and closed it back up, it mite work good enuff to scare those Martians back to outerspace! NASA otta hire us as accountants, cause on account of we got those green slimy bastards figured out, and we no how to deal with them.
What do you do about the "blind spot" whilst underway?
Ah we don't worry about that much. Most of the boats are smaller an us, an we just push them out of the way. Well execpt just last week, there was this guy from San Franciso in skinny tights, and an earning, in this canoe looking thing, while kind of like a canoe, but all closed up on top, and much longer, no not longer thinner, what ever, it looked like a pencil with long oars anyway. He said, "A Hoy - make way!. I don't know why he was speaking to us in Chinese? I have no idea what a "Hoy" is. Be damned if he didn't get out of our way in time, and we run him over and cut his pencil in half. Last we saw his two stubby pencils were a floating down streem and he was playing with alligators. It almost looked like he was tyring to race them to shore. Maybe we misjudged this fellow and should have gone back and cheered him on. We had no idea that he liked the critters so much, but our steering was rusted tight so we didn't have much choice. We didn't have any extra oil, to unstuck it, well not counting that gear lube in the shotgun shell, but that we already had sealed up tight wit candle wax for the Martains and there was no way we were going to break the seal and compromise our potential contract with NASA as accountants.
Oh the blind spot, darn I almost forgot, HEY Billy Bob! I need another BEER! Ya We took the mirrows off Freddy's truck (remember he aint got no license) and duct taped them up just right, so from back hear by the Johnson, I can see what is up front. While you know I can't steer any way, but reverse still works real good. Ummm Maybe that is why we lost the shotgun and the lawn chair? I gotta ponder that one for a while now.
What type of VHF antenna do you use?.
Oh we dont' need that at all. Maybe those guys in New York City or Sand Frand Cisco get them Channels, but we don't. Our TV also says UHF and we never did get any shows on those stations. No We just listen to AM on Billy Bobs Boom Box. That Rush Limbaugh should run for President. He'd kick those Martins' green butts back to Mars. Antenna? WELL! we use a coat hanger we bent straight, and that worked pretty darn swell. Butt Man after we added some of that tin foil we saved from grilling hamburgers did that do the trick! Now we get two stations! Well one just kinda fades off after sundown, butt the other perks right up loud and clear. We have no idea why, butt we was a thinking of saving our gum warppers and adding more antenna with duct tape.....
Is the model shown a 2 berth, 4 berth or 6 berth?
Oh you are trying to trick me with those Metric Measurements! I heard about those - You can't fool me!
Well I'll tell you she has all of that and more. She even has beds! More than we need, Billy Bob kind of hangs around upstairs. He still kinda of has a headache. Sometimes he just passes out poolside. So he don't need a bed, all sprawled out up'in there. My wife, Bertha and I sleep down stairs, after we fold up the kitchen table, and pull down the cushions.
You are sure a curious fellow, with a lot of questions. I haven’t talk so much since Billy Bob ran for Mayor, and that was a total waste of time, cousin he lost anyhow. Freddy’s Wife won, but that was not fair at all! She let all the guys win at pool on Friday nite and I think she was foolin’ around with 10 or 12 of them, which could have swayed the vote in her favor. But I think she is doing a pretty good as mayor anyways. She thunk up this idea to have a raffle to pay for the city gitt’en street lights. The first prize is a Brand Spakin New DOUBLE Barrel 12 Gauge Shotgun, and the Second prize is a new Lawn Chair. Me and Billy Bob is planning on buying a whole lot of raffle tickets down at Freddy’s Bar on Friday night.
When in doubt, do the right thing.