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Old 03-30-2010, 12:49 AM   #29
Boomerang's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Home Port: Oxford, MD
Vessel Name: Boomerang!
Posts: 112

Originally Posted by Yachtmaster81' date='23 August 2007 - 09:31 AM View Post


"There is nothing- absolutely nothing-

half so much worth doing

as simply messing about in boats."

-Ratty said to Mole in Kenneth Grahame's beloved 1908

classic, The Wind in the Willows.

Actually.....this was said by Mark Twain.....hate to burst the bubble.....American Writer/Philosopher.....quite a bit prior.... Would that be Plagiarism ?


S/V Boomerang!

1980 Cal 39 Mark II

St Michaels, MD
Boomerang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2010, 07:06 PM   #30
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Home Port: Durban
Posts: 2,984

Aboard - 1) A piece of construction lumber. 2) What one becomes when one is a-uninterested.

Abreast - 1) An object searched for by male lookouts. Only one?

Afterguy - Last guy out of the bar

American Practical Navigator (Bowditch) - Ancient nautical treatise, generally thought to deal with navigation, which to the present day has resisted all attempts to decipher it. Often found on board ship as a decorative element or paperweight.

Amidships - Condition of being surrounded by boats.

Anchor - 1) Device designed to bring up mud & weed samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times. 2) Thing rotting in the bilge of every racing yacht (unseen). 3) Any of a number of heavy, hook-shaped devices that are dropped over the side of the boat on end of length of rope and/or chain, and which is designed to hold vessel securely in place, until a) wind exceeds 2 knots, B) owner and crew depart or c) 0300.

Anchor Light - Small light used to discharge the battery before daylight.

Azimuth Bar - Where Azimuths hang out.

Backstay - Last thing to grab as your falling overboard

Baggywrinkle - Effect of sun and salt spray on your face.

Bar - 1) Long, low-lying navigational hazard, usually awash, found at river mouths and harbor entrances, where it is composed of sand or mud, and ashore, where it is made of mahogany or some other dark wood. Sailors can be found in large numbers around both. 2) Land based nesting and pre-mating natural habitat frequented by sailors when they force themselves to go ashore.

Bar Buoy - What you will be looking for to lead you to a good time.

Bare Boat - Clothing optional or sailing naked.

Bare Poles - Sailing with unclothed persons from Eastern Europe.

Battery - Electrochemical storage device capable of lighting a lamp of wattage approximately equal to that of a refrigerator lamp for a period of 15 minutes after having been charged for two hours.

Beating to Windward - Method of flogging crew to increase upwind performance when racing.

Beam Sea - Situation in which waves strike a boat from the side, causing it to roll unpleasantly. This is one of the four directions from which wave action tends to produce extreme physical discomfort. The other three are `bow sea' (waves striking from the front), `following sea' (waves striking from the rear), and `quarter sea' (waves striking from any other direction).

Berth - 1) Any horizontal surface whose total area does not exceed one half of the surface area of an average man at rest, onto which at least one liter of some liquid seeps during any 12-hour period and above which there are not less than 10 kilograms of improperly secured objects. 2) Little newborn addition to the crew. 3) Sometimes the result of removing the last article of clothing.

Bifurcation Buoy - Buoy that you can’t tell if its coming or going.

Bitter End - 1) Finish of a race when you are last over the line. 2) Wrong end of a siphon hose. 3) Time to alert the bartender in the English pub.

Boat - Break Out Another Thousand

Boat Ownership - Standing fully-clothed under a cold shower, tearing up 100-dollar bills

Boom - 1) Laterally mounted pole to which a sail is fastened. Often used during jibing to shift crewmembers to a fixed, horizontal position. 2) Loud noise made during a surprise jibe sometimes quieted by a grinder before swimming. 3) Called for the sound that's made when it hits crew in the head on its way across the boat. For slow crew, it's called `boom, boom.' 4) Sound produced when an alcohol stove is used to convert a boat into a liquid asset.

Boomkin - Small, very young boom, less than one year old.

Bottom Characteristics - With regard to human beings, the definition speaks for itself.

Bottom Paint - 1) Paint found on a pair of pants after the cockpit seats are freshly painted. 2) The most dented can of paint.

Bow - 1) Gesture from the helmsman as he crosses the finish line first. 2) Part of the boat that no one should have to work on. 3) Best part of the ship to ram another with. 4) Front part of catamarans often found underwater. 5) What you do after performing an outstanding docking maneuver.

Boxing The Compass - What you might attempt to foolishly do after drunkenly returning to the ship.

Broach - Piece of jewelry that you would not want to wear in heavy weather at sea.

Broad Reach - How a lady of the evening might grab at you as you walk down a dimly lit pier.

Bulkhead - 1) Uni-sex bathroom. 2) Discomfort suffered by sailors who drink too much. 3) Boater with a very large cranium.

Bunk - 1) Small uncomfortable area for wet sailors to attempt sleep 2) Location to store unused sails.

Buoy - 1) Opposite of girlie or flying gull. 2) Navigational aid. There are several types and colors of buoys of which the most numerous are:

-green can (seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon)

-red nun (seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon)

-red or green day beacon(seen as a fuzzy black spot

on the horizon), and -vertically striped black-and-white channel marker (seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon)

Calm - Sea condition characterized by the simultaneous disappearance of the wind and the last cold beverage.

Canvas - An abrasive sailcloth used to remove excess skin from knuckles

Can Buoy (Pronounced Can BOY) - Male with diarrhea.

Capsize - Interior diameter of any piece of headgear, usually expressed in inches [sometimes kilometers].

Captain - See Figurehead.

Cathead(s) - Popular menu item in some overseas food stores.

Caulk - Any one of a number of substances introduced into the spaces between planks in the hull and decking of a boat that give a smooth, finished appearance while still permitting the passage of a significant amount of seawater.

Celestial Fix - What you need every day.

Chart - 1) Large piece of paper that is useful in protecting cabin and cockpit surfaces from food and beverage stains. 2) Type of nautical map which tells you exactly where you are aground or what you just hit.

Chine - 1) Word used after, "rise and ...". 2) What the sun does.

Chock - 1) Full right up to here... 2) Sudden and usually unpleasant surprise suffered by Spanish seaman.

Circuit Breaker - Electro-mechanical switching unit intended to prevent the flow of electricity under normal operating conditions and, in the case of a short circuit, to permit the electrification of all conductive metal fittings throughout the boat. Available at most novelty shops.

Clew - 1) Evidence leading to recovery of a missing sail. 2) Indication from the skipper as to what he might do next. 3) Oriental crewmember. 4) What a new sailor often doesn’t have any of.

Cloud Bank - Where you store clouds, which gather interest for future use.

COB - Cash Over Board

Coiled: - Relatively mild upper respiratory ailment commonly contracted at sea by sailors from Brooklyn.

Comfort - Another term not used in conjunction with racing yachts.

Command - Mnemonic used to remember how orders at sea are to be given: Confuse Obscure Mispronounce Mumble Abbreviate Nasalize Drool.

Companionway - 1) Double berth. 2) Another name for a hole to fall into. 3) Narrow channel.

Compass - Navigational instrument that ... indicates the presence of machinery and magnets on board ship by spinning wildly.

Co-Tidal Hour - Not to be confused with coital hour, which is something entirely different and probably more fun.

Course - Direction in which a skipper wishes to steer his boat and from which the wind is blowing. Also, the language that results by not being able to.

Cruising - 1) Fixing your boat in exotic locations. 2) Waterborne pleasure journey embarked on by one or more people. It may be considered successful if the same number of individuals who set out on it arrive, in roughly the same condition they set out in, at some piece of habitable dry land, with or without the boat.

Crew - Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to hold down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen sudden movements of the boom.

Cruising - Waterborne pleasure journey embarked on by one or more people. A cruise may be considered successful if the same number of individuals who set out on it arrive, in roughly the same condition they set out in, at some piece of habitable dry land, with our without the boat.

Cunningham - Very sly or clever pig.

Current - Tidal flow that carries a boat away from its desired destination, or towards a hazard

Dangerous Waters - Lying to your spouse. Dead Reckoning 1) Course leading directly to a reef. 2) What a Southern Doctor pronounces after a sailor goes to Davy Jone's Locker. 3) Using a map instead of a chart.

Deadrise - Getting up to check the anchor at 0300 or waking up before sunrise..

Deviation - 1) Any departure from the Captain’s orders. 2) Shipboard orders given by a landlubber. 3) A ship full of deviates.

Dinghy - 1) Ideally it should have sufficient stability to carry the entire crew at least 50 boat-lengths away from their vessel before foundering... 2) Sound of the ship’s bell. 3) Dark, dirty place.

Displacement - Accidental loss. Occurs when you dock your boat and can’t find it later.

Distress Signals - International signals which indicate that a boat is in danger. For example, in American waters: the sudden appearance of lawyers, the pointing of fingers, and repression of memories; in Italian waters: moaning, weeping, and wild gesticulations; in French waters: fistfights, horn blowing, and screamed accusations; in Spanish waters: boasts, taunts, and random gunfire; in Irish waters: rhythmic grunting, the sound of broken glass, and the detonation of small explosive devices; in Japanese waters: shouted apologies, the exchange of calling cards, and minor self-inflected wounds; and in English waters: doffed hats, the burning of toast, and the spilling of tea.

Dock - Where you take a sick boat.

Dockline - Direct telephone access to a physician.

Draft - What you might want to avoid for cold viruses or the military.

Eight Bells - Are heavy.

Emergency Mooring Lines - Old ropes too rotten to use regularly but too good to throw away.

Engine - Sailboats are equipped with a variety of engines, but all of them work on the internal destruction principle, in which highly machined parts are rapidly converted into low-grade scrap, producing in the process energy in the form of heat, which is used to boil bilge water; vibration, which improves the muscle tone of the crew; and a small amount of rotational force, which drives the average size sailboat at speeds approaching a furlong per fortnight.

Equator - Line circling the earth at a point equidistant from both poles, which separates the oceans into the North Danger Zone and the South Danger Zone.

Estimated Position - Place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not. (common after multiple rhumb lines.)

Etiquette - Marine custom establishes a code of social behavior and nautical courtesy for every conceivable occasion. For example, a boat belonging to another boatman is always referred to as a "scow", a "tub", or a "pig-boat". When one skipper goes aboard another's boat, he does not hesitate to tell him frankly about any drawbacks or disadvantages he finds in comparison to his own craft. Sailors welcome every opportunity to improve their vessels, and so he knows that his remarks will be greatly appreciated. When one sailboat passes another, it is customary for the captain of the passing boat to make a bladderlike sound with his lips and tongue, and for the captain of the passed boat to return the courtesy by offering a smart salute consisting of a quick upward movement of the right hand with the second digit extended.

Figurehead - Decorative dummy found on sailboats. See Captain.

First Mate - Crew member necessary for skippers to practice shouting instructions to.

Fix - 1) The estimated position of a boat. 2) True position a boat and its crew in are in most of the time.

Flag - Any of a number of signaling pennants or ensigns, designed to be flown upside down, in the wrong place, in the wrong order, or at an inappropriate time.

Flashlight - Sometimes waterproof tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal

Fluke - 1) Portion of an anchor that digs securely into the bottom, holding the boat in place. 2) Any occasion when this occurs on the first try.

Flying Bridge - Type of card game played on a sea plane.

Flying Jib - Any jib when the sheets have gone overboard.

Foreguy - First guy to the bar

Foul Wind - 1) Breeze produced by flying turkey or goose. 2) An odor.

Freeboard - 1) Food and liquor supplied by the owner. 2) Free lumber. 3) Cruise on a vessel you don’t pay for.

Fuel - Sailboats without auxiliary engines do not require fuel as such, but an adequate supply of a pale yellow carbonated beverage with a 10 percent to 12 percent alcohol content is essential to the operation of all recreational craft.

Fuel Tanks - Giving thanks for having enough fuel on board.

Galley - 1) Ancient: Aspect of seafaring associated with slavery. 2) Modern: Aspect of seafaring associated with slavery .

Gimbals - Movable mountings often found on shipboard lamps, compasses, etc., which provide dieting passengers an opportunity to observe the true motions of the ship in relation to them, and thus prevent any recently ingested food from remaining in their digestive systems long enough to be converted into unwanted calories.

Give Way Vessel - The boat which, in a collision situation, did not have the right of way.

Great Circle - 1) Ship's course when the rudder is jammed or stuck.. 2) Depression left in a seat cushion. 3) Mark around your eye after sailor’s pub brawl.

Grinder - Crewmember stationed near the boom and who enjoys swimming. (see boom).

Gybe - Common way to get unruly guests off your boat.

Gybe Set - Great way to end up on Port Tack right in front of the whole Fleet that's approaching the mark on Starboard

Halyard - 1) Something that only breaks or jams when you're winning. 2) Measurement according to Hal.

Hanging Locker - Small, enclosed space designed to keep foul weather gear wet and to turn all other clothing green.

Hatch - 1) Opening on a boat made to fall in. 2) Container on board in which to keep or store eggs. 3) What lookout wears on his head while cruising polar regions.

Hazard - 1) Any boat over 2 feet in length. 2) Skipper of any such craft. 3) Any body of water. 4) Any body of land within 100 yards of any body of water.

Headway - 1) What you are making if you can’t get the toilet to work. 2) Desert the cook makes, similar to "curds 'n whey".

Head Up - Leaving the boat toilet seat up. When boat skipper is female, leaving the head up is a serious offense

Heave-Ho - What you do when you’ve eaten too much.

Heave To - 1) Second person to get sick. 2) Newcomers quite often find themselves heaving too

Heaving Line - Rope used to hold on to while being sick, often found after making headway. 2) Location next to a rhumb line.

Helmsman - 1) Nut attached to the rudder through a steering mechanism. 2) One who might actually listen to the tactician. 3) Crew member who might enjoy an uncontrollable jibe. (see Boom).

Inside Overlap - Part of a race that resembles a political debate

Interior - Term not used in conjunction with racing yachts.

Jack Lines - `Hey baby, want to go sailing?'

Jibe - Either you like it or you don’t and it gets you.

Keel - 1) Term used by 1st mate after too much heel by skipper. 2) Very heavy depth sounder or gauge, primarily used on Unamarans (monohulls)

Ketch - 1) Disagreeable clause in boat-purchase contract. 2) Sailboat with good wine in the cabin

Knot - Connection between two or more ropes... having the property that the link cannot be parted or broken in any way other than severing it with a knife, except if it is subjected to steady stress in the course of normal use.

Knot Meter - Instrument for measuring the speed with which any line will become tangled.

Landlubber - 1) Anyone on board who wishes he or she were not. 2) Anyone on board who shouldn’t be.

Latitude - Number of degrees off course allowed a guest at the helm.

Lazy Guy - Most sailors when they're not Racing

Lazy Jack - 1) Title given to the guy who's crewed on other boats one time only. 2) Item found in trunk of car that has very good tires and/or often left at home by trailer sailors.

Leadership - In maritime use, the ability to keep persons on board ship without resorting to measures which substantially violate applicable state and federal statutes

Leak - Situation calling for Leadership.

Leech - Crewmember who’s always broke an never seems to have a dime when its time to pay for drinks or meals.

Life Line - Phone Call.

Life Preserver - 1) Mildewed device for emergency use, stowed under extra lines and anchors. 2) Any personal flotation device that will keep an individual who has fallen off a vessel above water long enough to be run over by it or another rescue craft.

Lubber Line - Two or more guests waiting to get ashore.

Luff - Front part of a sail that everyone but the helmsman seems to pay attention to (see also Telltales)

Luff Up - Something racers do to each other to catch the back of the fleet Head.

Marina - Commercial dock facility. Among the few places, under admiralty law, where certain forms of piracy are still permitted, most marinas have up-to-date facilities for the disposal of excess amounts of U.S. currency that may have accumulated on board ship, causing a fire hazard.

Marine Flashlight - Waterproof place to store dead batteries.

Mast - Religious ritual used before setting sail.

Mile - Nautical Relativistic measure of surface distance over water - in theory, 6076.1 feet. In practice, a number of different values for the nautical mile have been observed while under sail, for example: after 4 p.m., approximately 40,000 feet; in winds of less than 5 knots, about 70,000 feet; and during periods of threatening weather in harbor approaches, around 100,000 feet.

Mizzen - 1) Object you can’t find. 2) Lost.

Mooring - Act of bringing a boat to a complete stop in a relatively protected coastal area in such a fashion that it can be sailed away again in less than one week's time by the same number of people who moored it without heavy equipment and no more than $100 in repairs.

Motor Sailer - Sailboat that alternates between sail/rigging problems and engine problems, and with some booze in the cabin.

Naval Warfare - Two bellies rubbing.

Noserly - What to call the wind direction when it comes from where you're going.

Nun Buoy (pronounced Nun BOY) - A religious transvestite.

Oar - Sea-going woman of ill repute

Oar Lock - Security device that sea-going women of ill repute have on their doors.

OD Paint - Paint applied Over Dirt.

Oil - Thick viscous substance poured by sailors on troubled waters in former times, but now more frequently on troubled beaches, troubled marshes and troubled seabirds.

Painter - Line you use to tow the dingy... also especially useful for preventing Tack.

Passage - Long voyage from A to B, interrupted by unexpected landfalls or stopovers at point K, point Q and point Z.

Passenger - Form of movable internal ballast which tends to accumulate on the leeward side of sailboats once sea motions commence.

Permanent Mooring - Sunken boat, anchored.

Points - Traditional units of angular measurement from the viewpoint of someone on board a vessel. They are: Straight ahead of you, right up there; Just a little to the right of the front; Right next to that thing up there; Between those two things; Right back there, look; Over that round doohickey; Off the right corner; Back over there; and Right behind us.

Pop the Chute - Sound a Poly Chute makes just as it blows apart.

Port - Fine red wine, always stowed on the left side of the boat.

Porthole - 1) Glass-covered opening in the hull designed in such a way that when closed (while at sea) it admits light and water, and when open (while at anchor) it admits, light, air, and insects (except in Canadian waters, where most species are too large to gain entry in this manner). 2) Are also found on the starboard side!

Portside - Is reserved for red headed sailors only.

Pratique - Technical maritime term for customs procedure on entering foreign waters. When passing through customs, particularly in the tropics - it is customary to display a small amount of that country's official currency in a conspicuous place and to transfer it to the officer who examines the boat's documents during the parting handshake. Incidentally, these inspectors are justly proud of their educational attainments, and the savvy boat owner can win some fast friends by remarking with surprise and admiration on their ability to read and write.

Prop - What you use your arm for to support your chin.

Propwash - Works best on bright work.

Propeller - Underwater winch designed to wind up at high speed any lines or painters left hanging over the stern.

Pulpit - Somewhere you pray you are going to pick up a mooring buoy.

Queeg - Affectionate slang term for ship's captain

Racing - Popular nautical contact sport

Ram - Intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers.

Rapture of the Deep AKA nautical narcosis. - Its symptoms include an inability to use common words, such as up, down, left, right, front, and back, and their substitution with a variety of gibberish which the sufferer believes to make sense; a love of small, dark, wet places; an obsessive desire to be surrounded by possessions of a nautical nature, such as lamps made from running lights and tiny ship's wheels; and a conviction that objects are moving when they are in fact standing still. This condition is incurable.

Reef Point - Part of a rock sticking out of the water.

Rhumb Line - Two or more crewmembers waiting for a drink. Spelling is archaic.

Ring Buoy - Otherwise known as a ring bearer in weddings

Rope Ladder - Ladder designed to get you into the water but not back out.

Round Down - Bad, bad thing for a bowman out on the spinnaker pole.

Round Rigger - 1) Opposite of a square rigger. 2) Crew member who hides in a rum barrel.

Round Up - Easiest way to get the oncoming watch on deck

Rudder - 1) Large, heavy, vertically mounted, hydro-dynamically contoured steel plate with which, through the action of a tiller or wheel, it is possible, during brief intervals, to point a sailing vessel in a direction which, due to a combination of effects caused by tide, current, the force and direction of the wind, the size and angle of the waves, and the shape of the hull, it does not wish to go. 2) Name for people having ruddy complexions.

Running free - Cruising without using the engine.

Sailboat Race - Two sailboats going in the same direction.

Sailing - Fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense (equivalent to standing in a cold shower, fully clothed, throwing up, and tearing up $100 bills, while a bunch of other people watch you).

Schooner - Sailboat with a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the cabin Scupper 1) Meal after lunch. 2) Place where you eat dinner.

Seabag - Aging mermaid.

Seacock - 1) Nautical rooster. 2) Male sailor’s most important piece of equipment.

Sea Monster - Mythical giant sea creature... Obviously a preposterous supersti...

Sewerman - Sailor that has a fetish for wet soggy nylon

Sextant - 1) Entertaining, albeit expensive, device, which, together with a good atlas, is of use in introducing the boatman to many interesting areas of the earth's surface which he and his craft are not within 1,000 nautical miles of. 2) Brass device for detecting the nighttime activity of guests. 3) Canvass shelter devices used while camping when the kids are in school.

Sheet - 1) Cool, damp, salty night covering. 2) Line made to make gloves fail or rip hands apart. 3) Something with the ability to tangle on anything.

Shipshape - Boat is said to be shipshape when every object that is likely to contribute to the easy handling of the vessel or the comfort of the crew has been put in a place from which it cannot be retrieved in less than 30 minutes.

Ship-to-shore Radio - Combination radio transmitter/receiver that permits captains and crew members to obtain wrong numbers and busy signals while at sea.

Shoreline - Used to dock boats.

Shower - Due to restricted space, limited water supplies, and the difficulty of generating hot water, showers on board ship are quite different from those taken ashore. Although there is no substitute for direct experience, a rough idea of a shipboard shower can be obtained by standing naked for two minutes in a closet with a large, wet dog.

Shroud - Equipment used in connection with the wake.

Skeg - What sea-going beer comes in.

Slip - Next to last article of clothing a woman removes

Sloop - Sailboat with beer and/or wine in the cabin.

Sonic Boom - Fast jibe.

Spanner Wrench - One of the most useful tools for engine repair; in some cases, the only suitable tool. Not currently manufactured.

Spinnaker - 1) Large sail used in dead calms to keep the crew busy. 2) An extremely large, lightweight, balloon-shaped piece of sailcloth frequently trailed in the water off the bow in a big bundle to slow the boat down.

Splice - Method of joining two ropes by weaving together the individual strands of which they are composed with resulting connection stronger than any knot. Splicing is something of an art and takes awhile to master. You can work on perfecting your technique at home by practicing knitting a pair of socks or a stocking cap out of a pound or so of well-cooked noodles.

Spring Line - 1) Line purchased at the beginning of the season. 2) Coils of metallic rope.

Square Rigger - 1) Rigger over 30. 2) Sailor who goes to sleep early. 3) Opposite of a round rigger.

Stand On Vessel - Vessel that in a collision was "in the right". If there were witnesses, the owner could bring an admiralty court case - known as a "wet suit" or a "leisure suit" - against the owner of the other boat, and if he proves "shiplash", he could collect a tidy sum.

Starboard - 1) Special board used by skippers for navigation (usually with "Port" on the opposite side.) 2) Listless movie actor.

Stem Fitting - Hole made in a competitors boat when your helmsman misjudges a Port /Starboard crossing

Stern - Way you feel after bashing the dock.

Strut - Peculiar way of walking

Submarine - Long sandwich.

Swell - 1) Wave that’s just great. 2) Best of something. 3) Mound made by mosquitoes you’ll probably scratch.

Tabernacle - Something similar to pulpit, but a different religion.

Tack - 1) Maneuver the skipper uses when telling the crew what they did wrong without getting them mad. 2) Common sticky substance left in the cockpit and on deck by other people's kids, usually in the form of foot or hand prints. 3) Shift the course of a sailboat from a direction far to the right, say, of the direction in which one wishes to go, to a direction far to the left of it.

Tactician - 1) One who counts screws and nails. 2) The luckiest or sorriest member of a crew. 3) Kind term for a Smart *** or Arrogant SOB - or Dumb *** or Lucky SOB

Tell-Tale - 1) Talk about last night on shore. 2) Crew member who lets the guests know that the skipper usually gets seasick.

Throw Line - Excuse used by baseball pitcher after blowing it.

Toe - Stub your "toe"? Well then, it's time to brush up on your nomenclature! In nautical terms, a toe is a catchcleat or snagtackle. A few others: head - boomstop; leg - bruisefast; and hand - blistermitten.

Uniform - As worn by yacht club members and other shore hazards, a distinctive form of dress intended to be visible at a distance of at least 50 meters which serves to warn persons in the vicinity of the long winds and dense masses of hot air associated with these tidal bores.

Union Jack - Cousin to Uncle Sam.

Vang - Name of German sea dog.

Variation - Change in menu effected when the labels have soaked off the canned goods.

Varnish - High-fiction coating applied as a gloss over minor details in personal nautical recollections to improve their audience-holding capacity over frequent re-tellings.

Wake - Similar to an Irish burial.

Weather Helm: - Marked tendency of a sailboat to turn into the wind, even when the rudder is centered. This is easily countered by wedging a heavy object against the tiller. See Crew.

Wharf - Sound made by Vang when he wishes to be fed.

Whelk - Sound made by Vang to show that he doesn't like that dry, lumpy dog food you put in his dish.

Windlass - Condition resulting from successful treatment in a windward.

Windward - Section of hospital for boaters with chronic gas problems.

Yacht Broker - Form of coastal marine life found in many harbors in the Northern Hemisphere generally thought to occupy a position on the evolutionary scale above algae, but somewhat below the cherrystone clam.

Yacht - Commonly used to describe any boat prior to its purchase, and by many boat owners to describe their vessel to persons who have never seen it and are likely never to do so.

Yacht Club - Troublesome seasonal accumulation in coastal areas of unpleasant marine organisms with stiff necks and clammy extremities. Often present in large numbers during summer months when they clog inlets, bays, and coves, making navigation almost impossible. They can be effectively dislodged with dynamite, but, alas, archaic federal laws rule out this option.

Yawl - 1) Sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin 2) Southern version of ahoy.

Winch - A thing you grind till it squeals or groans. Not to be confused with ‘wench’, which has a similar definition.

Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze. Named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts.


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Old 09-03-2010, 01:50 PM   #31
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... trew my sailing lexikon over board and replaced it by this great work of Lighthouse! **


SY Aquaria

If you have the time, you alwas have the right winds.

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Old 11-20-2010, 04:04 PM   #32
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'Does anyone have some nuggets or pearls of wisdom to share?'

'The canvas can do miracles' ... 'Sailing' by Christopher Cross.

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Old 09-02-2012, 02:09 AM   #33
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The above absolutely deserves a 'bump', back to prominence. When you have a few minutes, read it through...It will improve your day!
"if at first you don't succeed....Redefine success"!

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Old 09-09-2012, 02:20 PM   #34
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Send a message via Skype™ to Capt. Paul West

Nice group of quotes... Thanks.
Capt. Paul
s/v Panacea - Endeavor 43 Ketch - 1980
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Old 12-27-2012, 10:06 AM   #35
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I read some of these quotes and they were really nice and had lots of depth..Its nice to read these kind of quotes...
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:23 PM   #36
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Witty stuff. Especially the "letter to the ship owners" that *really*had me laughing out loud as well as the crack "reminds me to I need to buy printer toner" )
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Old 07-21-2013, 01:36 PM   #37
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The best definition that I have heard to date of "Cruising"...

"Working on your boat in exotic places."
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Old 07-21-2013, 01:57 PM   #38
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Default Poems by C Rutter Fletcher

I'd like to add these two poems to the collection here. They have always meant something special to me. 'Youth' will always remind me of my dads first boat, and therefore the first boat that I sailed in, and 'Middle Age' - well, don't we all know these men?
I have been unable to find any information about the author, but found the poems in a book that dad had, now long lost. -Enjoy.

Youth - C Rutter Fletcher
Shes a straight old stemmer, whose nailsick hull
Has lain long years in the mud.
And though the lads have worked like hell,
She still doesn't look too good.
They've tingled her bottom with canvas and tar,
With putty and paint, hid many a scar
They installed an old engine that came from a car
That they found on a breakers dump.
They sought their equipment at home and afar
And they fitted a brand new pump.
But each Saturday teatiime sees them start
For the five weeks still to come,
With an Ordnance Survey map for a chart
They navigate more by luck than art,
When they leave the places they know by heart
For a port that is far from home.
A distant flash glows white then red,
They've sighted the light they seek!
Lee ho! for the long beat home - and bed.
They'll be off again next week.

Middle Age - C Rutter Fletcher
In trim reefer jackets they chat at the bar
Or dine in the yacht club mess.
Each man has won - in peace or war,
The worlds esteem - success.
They talk of twin diesels and 30 ton yawls
And of other successful men,
Or of capital gains, 'til someone recalls -
"Do you remember when..?"
Then memory plays with those far off days
With boats that were cheap and old.
With adventures half lost in a distant haze
That is more than tinged, with gold.
And of all the increasingly splendid ships
That they've owned in the years between
Is it true perhaps, for those prosperous chaps,
That some straight old stemmer's still queen?
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:09 PM   #39
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I think Cedric (Rutter) Fletcher was an occasional contributor to the UK publication Practical Boat Owner back in the 60s. He did write a book which according to the internet is available through several online outlets. The Bunkside Book a Yachtsman's Miscellany which was published in 1962.

Judging by the poems posted by Rover Crew, I think it could be a good light hearted read.
"if at first you don't succeed....Redefine success"!

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Old 07-21-2013, 03:18 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by Yachtmaster81' date='23 August 2007 - 09:31 AM


"There is nothing- absolutely nothing-

half so much worth doing

as simply messing about in boats."

-Ratty said to Mole in Kenneth Grahame's beloved 1908

classic, The Wind in the Willows.

Actually.....this was said by Mark Twain.....hate to burst the bubble.....American Writer/Philosopher.....quite a bit prior.... Would that be Plagiarism ?


S/V Boomerang!

1980 Cal 39 Mark II

St Michaels, MD

I just noticed this post in this thread from 2010. Mark Twain is quoted as saying many things which he simply did not say. This is one of them. It is from Wind In The Willows and had nothing to do with Mr Clemens.
"if at first you don't succeed....Redefine success"!

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Old 07-22-2013, 01:32 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by Auzzee View Post
I think Cedric (Rutter) Fletcher was an occasional contributor to the UK publication Practical Boat Owner back in the 60s. He did write a book which according to the internet is available through several online outlets. The Bunkside Book a Yachtsman's Miscellany which was published in 1962.

Judging by the poems posted by Rover Crew, I think it could be a good light hearted read.
Yes Auzzee, that would fit - dad certainly took the 'Practical Boat Owner' magazine during the 60's, so the book I mentioned might have had something to do with that. I shall look for the one you mention. Certainly, as I said before, these two poems hold a special meaning for me, and I have always wondered if there was the 3rd one perhaps called 'Old Age' or something like.
Having said that the one entitled 'Youth' reminded me of dads first boat, I should point out that it wasn't a total home made thing - though he did (I am told- cos I was too young to remember) buy it with a hole in the bottom! (can you imagine my mums reaction?)
She (the boat) was a dear ol' thing though and thought to have been one of the little ships at Dunkirk, though if she was she was never listed under the name we knew her by. I cried buckets when she finally had to go, and dad and his chum took her out to the saltings and punched a hole in her.
But I digress and am going off the subject of the thread. My apologies. Its nice to ramble down memory lane sometimes though.
cheers for now.
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Old 06-03-2014, 03:58 AM   #42
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Default Yup!

A good day involves sailing.
A really good day involves friends.
And how perfectly pleasant it is to develop a new friendship.
So I have two of the three today and now need to heed this little gem.........
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"if at first you don't succeed....Redefine success"!

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