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Old 06-29-2010, 04:02 PM   #1
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My husband and I live in Arkansas right now and just took our first sailing lesson on Beaver Lake. The idea of sailing has been exciting.. we've talked about it for a few weeks now. We want to sail the oceans but we decided to take a simple lesson on the lake first - just to make sure that sailing was right for us.

Well.. it was even better than we imagined!

Now, we would love to join a crew for a week or two at a time, a few times this year and next year.. before we buy a boat of our own. Even though we're new to sailing we already know that we want to live aboard by next year. Then, who knows? The open ocean is calling!
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Old 06-29-2010, 07:08 PM   #2
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Welcome aboard, boy I wish my wife would get that excited, if she said I want to be living aboard in a year everything would be for sale today.

Sail on,

Caljoe
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:01 PM   #3
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Welcome aboard, boy I wish my wife would get that excited, if she said I want to be living aboard in a year everything would be for sale today.

Sail on,

Caljoe
That's funny! Even though we aren't sure if we'll be oceanside in our own boat within 3 or 6 or even 12 months (boy I hope it doesn't take that long) I've already started putting everything we own up for sale. I think Ty might say I'm a little too excited.. but I just can't help myself. I want to be ready when the opportunity arrives, you know?

Amanda
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Old 06-30-2010, 02:02 AM   #4
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If you want to try some real blue water cruising without being too far from land, try the Philippine archipelago, 7100 islands and friendly locals. Give Indonesia a miss, they hang yachtsman and sailors upside down to make sure they get every dime from you. Not so sure abput the caribbean, lots of thefts and attacks on boats at anchor. We had armed guards 24 hours a day when we were at anchor off Domenica, and we were loading just bananas.

Take some short cruises like the Island Sailing Club, Salcombe, England. They have some lovely old sail boats and nice cruising areas - Brittany, channel Islands etc but weather can get back and always so cold - taker a thermotic suit with you.

Good luck and happy sailing days

ms Rima, Benoni, Camiguin Island, Philippines
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Old 06-30-2010, 01:15 PM   #5
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Caljoe, in some ways I understand your wife. 3/4s of the way across the Pacific, we met a rather angry woman who was determined to sell their boat and return to the US as soon as possible to buy a house and "settle down". Since I couldn't imagine returning to a land-based life, I tried to be as non-judgmental as possible when I asked her "why?" I don't know how well I disguised my dismay at her comments. She just couldn't cope with the unsettled, constantly moving life without a secure haven to return to.

I thought hard about that, and realized that I was probably very much the same, but I had had the good fortune to still have a home to return to if need be. That made the transition to a "gypsy" life much easier for me. Although I wasn't particularly attached to material things, some of our possessions had a great deal of sentiment and memories attached to them, and it was difficult to imagine not having them anymore. More pertinent, I needed a plan, and a Plan B and even a Plan C. Peter didn't need that - if this plan didn't work out, "Oh Well, we'll think of something." I satisfied my need by learning the most I possibly could about any place we considered traveling to. Peter just got the coordinates. What works for us works for us, not you, your wife, your best friend, or my brother. However, in general there is a compromise inside every venture, and the challenge is to find it for you.

Vegan, good for you. I'm happy to hear that you like the sailing part of sailing away. It's nice when the journey gives one as much pleasure as the destination. It IS worth it, and I wish you success along this path.

fair winds,

Jeanne
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Old 06-30-2010, 03:02 PM   #6
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Welcome to our club Vegan and Megan and the best of luck. Cruising and the erratic life of living on a cruising boat is wonderful but not for everyone.





As Jeanne sagely points out some people need to have a home base. My own wife is one of them. We do cruise together however for extended times. We are now just back from a month cruise in the Aegean. When she is not feeling like cruising I go on my own.





The fact is that cruisers are all different individuals and handle their love of the sea in different ways. The important thing is to keep on sailing.
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Old 06-30-2010, 05:17 PM   #7
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Yeah I know, I can see her point too, but the lifestyle just sounds fantastic, we'll just keep on sailing as much as posable. We are kind of land locked right now so to speak, we take care of the wifes folks who live nextdoor who are in there later 70's and we are raising our 5 yr old grand daughter ( who is ready to go just like papa ).

I'm with Peter, if this don't work we'll figure it out... I dont know if im OCD or not but its all I think about I just want to go get all the experiance I can, get a boat I can singlehand and hit it.

Amanda, It's not that funny I really need to go, lol.... Good luck on your yard sales I hope it gos fast so you can go start livin the dream...
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:24 PM   #8
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Welcome! to CL.

I understand the excitement and desire to "get going." We had that too--but in our early 20's when we thought we wanted to live aboard a boat and cruise, we realized that we couldn't engage in all the activities of interest if we were floating around the oceans on a sailboat. So, we wandered around the world with our jobs traveling and having land-based fun--but with an important promise to ourselves: we'd be living aboard and voyaging on a sailboat by the time we'd been married 25 years. We were married in June 1982.

The years flew by and before we knew it--thank goodness we set a date! We found the boat in February 2006, arranged to take delivery of it by August 2006. Sold the house in June 2006, stored the stuff we think we'll put in a vacation home some day. Who knows where that home will be but we are likely to have one somewhere by the nature of all our hobbies. Moved across the country from the east coast to the west coast for the boat. Rebuilt the boat from the fall of 2006 until April 2009 when we re-launched her. We moved aboard while still in the boatyard in August 2008. We've been enjoying her in the water for a little over a year. And, still the years fly by. We're glad to be sailing and living a voyagers' life. Each person has their own way of finding the right mix and the right life.

To each, his own way.

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Old 06-30-2010, 10:20 PM   #9
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Thats a great story redbopeep I wish I'd a thought of that, we're coming up on 26, dang.

We're going to have alittle talk when I get home...
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Old 07-01-2010, 01:55 AM   #10
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I guess we're not the type of people to own two homes .. so the sailboat will be our only home. Then, when/if we decide to return somewhere, we'll get a land-based home. I have no idea where that will be.. and I like it that way! We never stay anywhere for more than a few years anyway, mostly because we haven't found a place we'd like to call home. That must be why we're both so excited. We want to move from place to place.

We're signed up for our beginner through bareboat class in August. Yay!
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Old 07-01-2010, 11:17 PM   #11
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Well,,,, my plan ( will see what Gods plan is ) is to rent the house for income we have two on the property one for us and one for the inlaws so we'll still have a land base and what little retirement I'll get for working 30yrs in this dusty cement plant, that is if the wife gos with me( like I said she's not as exicited as I am ) so I might have to do it on a smaller budget and by myself, I hope not, but like I said I gota go.

Vegan, good luck in your classes, we or I hopfuly we will be doing basic coastal cruising in aug.

Sail on,

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Old 07-02-2010, 04:15 AM   #12
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I'm sorry when I hear that one partner isn't as excited as the other about picking up a sailing life. The opportunity for bringing a family closer together--or for strengthening and expanding the team-working abilities of a married couple is wonderful. Of course, there is always one partner who is a bit more excited than the other, but it's nice when both are excited enough that it doesn't matter that one partner is totally over the top while the other partner is just merely looking forward to it all

We looked at a voyaging life as a new opportunity for personal growth as individuals as well as building our relationship. So far, its turning out that way.

Fair winds,
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Old 07-02-2010, 06:13 PM   #13
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Well,,,, my plan ( will see what Gods plan is ) is to rent the house for income we have two on the property one for us and one for the inlaws so we'll still have a land base and what little retirement I'll get for working 30yrs in this dusty cement plant, that is if the wife gos with me( like I said she's not as exicited as I am ) so I might have to do it on a smaller budget and by myself, I hope not, but like I said I gota go.

Vegan, good luck in your classes, we or I hopfuly we will be doing basic coastal cruising in aug.

Sail on,

Caljoe
Hey Calijoe,

Right now we live in Arkansas (yikes, I know) but we decided to take our sailing course in Monterey Bay. We'll let you know how it goes. They're having a summer special right now, which is one of the reasons we decided on them - plus, we really want to learn on the ocean.

Renting a house out for sailing money sounds like a fantastic idea. Though if you can't, in the meantime you could always jump on one of the 'crew wanted' ads that we've been looking at.. many of those are for several weeks to even a few months. We have to wait until we're in between jobs so that we have enough time but I think it'll be a great way to try out different sizes and shapes of boats. I hope you get to get out on the ocean.. and I hope your wife gets more excited about it. Maybe the solitude of sailing and the sound of the water (which is what attracts me) will grow on her after all. Good luck!

Amanda

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Old 07-02-2010, 07:55 PM   #14
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Thanks for feeling my pain guys lol it will all work out, going out for two days during the week the week after next, it sould be way less crowded so she probably wont be so nervous and I think I'm going to send her out with just the instructor for a couple hours to build some confidence so wish us luck. Any suggestions about confidence building redbopeep, JeanneP...or opinions.

Amanda, good deal the water up there is brrrrr cold, if its not to late maybe you could switch it to San Diego and we could all get together for some sailing, they have some great sailing schools and its warm... And thats a great idea I'm looking into that too...

Sail on,

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Old 07-02-2010, 08:09 PM   #15
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Has she read my little puff piece, Women at the Helm ? I was browsing the Internet one day and found that a yacht club in Australia had taken it and put it on their site - with credit given to me, thankfully. So I guess other people think it has some value.

There is no shame in being nervous or even afraid. The hard part is figuring out what it is exactly that one is afraid of. Take my word for it, making a fool of oneself is nothing to be afraid of doing, since we all do it at least once, and some of us ( ) a lot more than just once. I'm always available to answer questions and even do a little mentoring.
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Old 07-02-2010, 09:43 PM   #16
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Thanks JeanneP great artical I printed it and I'm taking it home.

To everyone, have a safe and sane 4th of July weekend, I'm going home now

Sail on,

Caljoe
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:29 PM   #17
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A good idea to have your wife go out on her own/with instructor and get some sailing time in!

Fear, oh yes, knowing what is frightening and dealing with it--both important factors. Getting to the bottom of what is causing fear and unease with sailing is very important. Finding ways to get a partner to deal with whatever the fear is all about --without giving up sailing! is important, too. Of course, some folks just don't want to be out there sailing. In that case, the person may use a natural fear as an excuse since then they don't have to admit that they're just really not interested in a sailing life. Conversely, some people say they just don't want the sailing lifestyle when really it is raw fear that is keeping them ashore.

While I can't imagine just not being interested, I certainly believe that we all have our preferences for lifestyle and if your wife doesn't want a sailing lifestyle for the next decade or two, having the conversation openly without laying a guilt trip on her would be pretty important. The reality is that many people will only engage in sailing for a short (a few years) portion of their life and if a partner is presented with the idea that "we're going sailing for 2 years and then we'll evaluate" the partner is much more likely to be into the idea of the sailing (for 2 years) rather than making excuses not to go in the first place because they're afraid they'll be "stuck" with only a sailing lifestyle forevermore.

Well, that's just my opinion.

On a related note--while my husband and I work together and play together well, there are many issues with sailing where I am more cautious than he is. He's an adrenalin junkie whereas I can get my thrills "on the cheap" so to speak. Given our disparate tolerance for scary things, we communicate alot and deal with things as they come up. If life isn't naturally thrilling enough, he starts doing risky things; if life is getting too thrilling, I start getting whiny and/or demanding. If he has to excessively curtail the thrills to meet my demands, he starts getting snippy. Realizing our tendencies, we can joke about it. When I suggest to him that maybe he needs to go hang upside down off the bowsprit in the bow wave (while sailing un-reefed in 38 knot winds), he gets my point quickly and is willing to take a reef.
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Old 07-06-2010, 11:36 PM   #18
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You have some great ideas red, thanks... Yes shes going out with the instructor for a couple hours, just her and instructor.

I'm not telling her about your bowsprit trick yet though lol...
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Old 07-06-2010, 11:54 PM   #19
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Amanda check this out... http://boatwrights.org/introduction.html I think you'll like it.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:33 AM   #20
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Amanda check this out... http://boatwrights.org/introduction.html I think you'll like it.
Great link, caliJoe.. thanks!
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