Quote:
Originally Posted by Lighthouse
Drink whiskey and smoke cigars - how else will we survive if we took heed of the article below from Men's Health.
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...well I never bought the magazine, nor read it, but it sounds like one can get really really sick, just from hearing about it. EH?.... What was it you said?
"Men''s Health" magazine identified some "dirty" foods and listed the Top 10:
1. Chicken
In one study cited by
Men''s Health, more than 40 percent of chicken samples contained bacteria that can sicken, including
E. Coli.
Well, I never ate "chicken samples", I always discard that part, and make Beer Butt Chicken with the rest. Usually I am WAY past full before I get to the remaining 60% of it, so I figure I am safe. But one can not be TOO SAFE; so I serve more than 40% to dinner guests, and drink lots and lots of SAFE Beer. (Beer MUST BE Safe, as it was was not on the list).
2. Ground Beef
Simply because of the way ground beef is made through heavy processing, it has the potential to be loaded with deadly
E. coli bacteria and more.
WELL THAN! From now on I think I am only going to buy those labeled, "light processing". Than I am going to use my magnifying glass, to personally inspect it at home, being careful to inspect for ANY coli; especially those with the "E" or better. In fact, I am going to ask the butcher, to insist on ground beef containing only A. coli, or maybe B. coli; ....well Maybe, ....just Maybe C. coli, but only if I am having company for dinner. D. coli, is totally out of the question, as they would be rubbing up against their "E" buddies.
I must be really really lucky, as I have NEVER seen any coli on my ground beef, with my magnifying glass, much less those stamped with an "E".
3. Ground Turkey
One in four packages of ground turkey tested by
Men''s Health contained bacteria. This becomes a greater concern as more people substitute ground turkey for ground beef thinking it''s a healthier alternative.
Thanks for the Tip! I have never bought ground turkey that was tested by
"Men''s Health" magazine, and I never will! .....well unless I am having dinner guests, than I may buy the other 3 packages; but insist that it only contain "C" or less coli bacteria from point #2.
4. Oysters
Beware of raw oysters! Many are tainted not only with bacteria, but also the
Norovirus.
OK, I will! Next time I am eat them, I will be sure to have my magnifying glass handy. I see a pattern developing here. Now we are up to the N's, way past the E's.
5. Eggs
The incredible edible egg is also associated with more than 600,000 cases of food poisoning each year and more than 300 deaths. Cook eggs completely and never eat them raw.
Well I never buy eggs by the case, much less 600,000 of them. I usually only buy a dozen or two at one time. Even when we have company 600,000 cases would be WAY to many. We don't have that many friends, but are very socilable. Besides we don't cook our eggs, we always fry 'em. I done heard about "poaching" eggs, which I don't understand. Why would anybody want to "poach" eggs, as they are alwys in season?
6. Cantaloupe
Cantaloupe rinds often contain dangerous bacteria that are hard to wash away. Cut through that rind with a knife and the bacteria can be transferred to the fruit.
Those critters seem to be everywhere! I suppose soon I am going to have to retire my magnifying glass, and buy one of those 2 X rifle scopes.
...well and no more knives in the cantaloupe. For me it will be by axe or chain saw only; from NOW ON!
7. Peaches
This favorite juicy summer fruit is dangerous because the peach fuzz makes it difficult to clean off all the pesticides.
Well, that is NO PROBLEM at all! I remember when I turned, oh about 13, and I had "peach fuzz" on my face. It took a little practice, and a few cuts on my face with that straight edge razor, to figure it out, but I have the knack! I could slice that right off; no problems.
8. Pre-Packaged Tossed Salads
These bagged salads are one of the greatest conveniences of the past decade, but they can also be one of the biggest sources of food poisoning since the contents are often contaminated with
E. Coli, according to
Men''s Health.
I never bought pre-packaged TOSSED salad. I saw them stocking the shelves, and they DO TOSS those bags around. AND there are those Coli's again! Maybe I should get a 4 X rifle scope....
...besides we have a vegetable garden.
AND remind me to NEVER buy that Men's Health newpaper... They seem to full of bad news from the get-go, AND they have glossy pages, which does not work AT ALL in my recyling plan over yonder in the out-house.
9. Cold Cuts
It looks like delicious shaved ham or turkey to you. But it could contain the dangerous bacteria
Listeria, which is especially risky for infants and the elderly.
Listeria can be spread by the deli slicer, and it can even grow in a cold refrigerator. What can you do? Experts advise you to transfer the deli meat to a fresh package when you get home and only buy enough for one week at a time.
WAIT A MINUTE NOW! First we have to shave the peaches, now we have to shave the ham AND THE turkey. ....How could the ham or turkey be delicious with shaving cream all over it?
I am ready to chuck the razor down the out-house hole, and grow a beard. When is enough enough? Where is there ANY time left in a day for a man to go FISHING!????
Well those idiots! Of Course Cold Cuts are especially risky for infants and the elderly; neither one has teeth!
...and only deli's have slicers. Me? I have a chain saw; I keep'er lubed up good with bar and chain lube. I could skin the fuzz off a peach in no time flat; quicker than a New York Minute!
There is nothing growing in my frigde, well except the beer stock is growing smaller....
Bertha! We need more BEER! Here's the truck keys, my money is on the kitchen counter.
Betty's Response: !@#$%^&*()_!!!!!!!!!!!
...Oh sorry Betty, I some how always get names mixed up. ...But we still need Beer.
....Don't we? Honey?
While you at it, we need some groceries. I made a list. We need some hamburger..... and...
Oh, and how about you stop at that Chinese Place and pick up some take out food for dinner?
It tastes good, we don't have to cook or do dishes, and it is NOT on the Mens' Health Newspaper BAD FOOD LIST that I just read!
Oh, and my truck is sucking fumes, stop at the gas station first.
BERTHA or ...what ever her name is: "When did you start reading?
10. Scallions
If these green onions are left uncooked, they have the potential to become bacterial breeding grounds. They''ve also been linked to fatal outbreaks of
Hepatitis-A.
BETTY! ...driving out of the driveway....
JEFF YELLING, "Skip the Scallions! We don't want those, I read where they are bad for you health. Git Onions Instead!
....Oh? wait a minute, that was a MEN's magazine; maybe SHE is immune???
So, what's for supper??
Well, I think I told her to fill gas, foresure to buy beer, and stop at McDonalds or one of THOSE places and git something HEALTHY to eat.
Jeff
Linear Mode
